Tiny Table 3

It was hard to miss the social media marketing of the Chinese blockbuster Ne Zha II. Toting, ad nauseam, its $2.2 billion dollar box office against a $88 million dollar budget could make anyone curious about the hype. Tack on, for western audiences, a 91% critical rating on Rotten Tomatoes, and you’d start to think there might be something here. So much so, upstart studio A24 took up its mantle and put an English dubbed version in wide release. Then, the disappointment. Ne Zha II, aside from some breathtaking widescreen animation and action sequences, is like watching a drunk uncle fall into a firework display: kinda funny but mostly embarrassing.

It’s pointless to summarize the mess of a plot. Even online summaries will leave you sleepy-eyed and confused. Rule #1 of storytelling: If you can’t, even at a basic level, say what the story is, you ain’t got one. Ne Zha II, at every level feels like the writers are making it up as they go. A dozen six-year-olds on a playground could have cobbled together something more coherent: characters never developed enough to care about, plot twists that follow no logic, and conflicts created for nothing more than spectacle. It is an epic that manages to be both uncomfortable and boring in equal measure.

You will sit there, for more than two hours, not wondering ‘WTF is going on?’ as much as you will be wondering ‘Why am I still here’? The only thing to keep you in your seat will be the frenetic action and the jaw-dropping wide shot animations the team pulls off. Still, the location design’s beauty only serves to highlight some uninspired character renderings. Even our main characters, Ne Zha and Ao Bing, look as flat as their story arch.

Internationally, there are much much better animated features. Spend a couple minutes on Crunchy Roll, check out anything made by Cartoon Saloon or Studio Mir, or peruse literally anything in Disney’s back catalog. Ne Zha II ends up being a visually interesting dumpster fire that leans into fart jokes, vomit jokes, and urine jokes and expects us to cheer. You’ll be more likely to walk out of the theater.

As of writing this, Ne Zha II bombed spectacularly on its U.S. release. Having seen the film, it is unsurprising and makes the Chinese box office numbers look more than questionable. Stay home on this one and fire up K-Pop Demon Hunters for the twentieth time.

Verdict: 4 out of 10