First Date with a Nerd // Mediocre Advice from a Decent Human Being


So, you’re a nerd, and you have a date. No, really. You have a date.   If that weren’t enough, you’ve won the lottery on this one. DING! DING! DING! She (or he) is also a nerd. But, here’s your dilemma. What would be the ideal first date? How should you plan it? Because you’re feeling you’d like to have a second date with this cool person, what should you do?

Well, the answer will depend quite a bit on how much you already know about her. Let me give you a general rule. Okay, it’s not really a rule, but more like mediocre advice. Anyway, you might know that she is a nerd, but you might not know what exactly fascinates her within the nerd-verse. First, in order to have hope of making it to a second date, do not do “dinner and a movie.” Even if you know it is a movie she really would be into, regardless of how well you think you know her, don’t do it.

Instead, do something romantic.

Did that word just scare you? Of course it did. You’re a nerd. Let me explain what I mean by romantic.

After all is said and done, your date is a person like anyone else. She wants to be treated special by her date, nerd or no nerd. Use this first date to see what really makes her light up. Let me give you an example. I have a past favorite first date in mind. I’m no longer dating this guy, but that first date did get him a second one—which was really fun too!

I did a little online dating during my nine years of single-dom (is that a word?). This guy knew I was a nerd. We had emailed about a lot of things we were into, and the emails had become quite extensive and uber-nerdy. We emailed for a while because we were both introverts and neither one of us moved very quickly into relationship type things.

Knowing this, he took me to the Griffith Observatory in L.A. It was a great place to gaze at the stars, had a spectacular view of Los Angeles, and had a planetarium. Could it have been any more nerd romantic?

This venue gave us the opportunity to walk around together and gave us time to talk about things other than just asking the typical, “What do you do?” or “What is your favorite this or that?” questions.

If someone is a nerd or geek, like I am, they are going to get excited about anything they can talk about intelligently and passionately.  An observatory may not be their particular area of nerd or geekdom, but because it’s nerdy, exciting, and has a beautiful view, it gets a romance modifier +3. Check. Then, once you get that date number two, you can take her somewhere that shows that you listened to her during the first.  Now, it’s time to tap a bit more into her geeky side.

For instance, I said I liked laser tag during date one.  He remembered that, invited me, and it totally worked as a second date.  It would not have been a great idea for date one (sweaty grossness, the lack of being able to talk), but as a second or third date, perfect.  It showed he listened to me and wanted to do something I liked to do. Points!

“But I can’t remember everything she says,” you tell me.  Stressing!  Of course, you are. You’re a nerd.

You don’t have to remember everything.  Start with two things.  Just remember two things she lights up about that you can use later. If she loves something, and you go on more dates, the things she loves will pop back up, and you can continue to surprise her with your creativity.   She will turn around and suggest some awesome places herself later.  It will be your best dating experience ever! Possibly!  Try it out!

~Cloud City

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