WASHINGTON: Returning from a $10 million dollar taxpayer funded memorial for someone no one is willing to quote, the president made a major announcement. After years of not considering scientific research, the administration has concluded, via TikTok, that everything you eat causes autism. Effective immediately, ICE agents and federal troops will be deployed to states that won’t impact republican seats. Detained individuals will be required to join the next season of Love on the Spectrum: USA.
The reality show will be the latest in the series of administration programming that includes Pam Bondi Surgical Makeovers, World’s Toughest Prisons (4yr-old and under), and Cash Patel’s Q&A show, I Didn’t Say That, You Did. Check you local listings for dates and times.
Tiny Table 3 
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